4th of July

Justin and I were both off for the Fourth of July. (Nothing makes me feel more like an adult than not having to work on a holiday while still getting paid). New York was expecting stormy weather on the Fourth so I didn't really know what we were going to end up doing, but I was glad to be out of my house.

I headed over to Justin's apartment around noon. He opened the door shirtless and in basketball shorts. He looked good. Did I mention we were taking things slow now?

He greeted me with a kiss, placing his hand on my neck, behind my right ear. The lingering kiss felt intoxicating and I don't know if it was because we had already slept together or if I was just feeling so much more comfortable with Justin, but that was all it took. We spent the next hour or so under his covers.

After a sufficient amount of cuddling and pillow talk, Justin asked if I was hungry.

"Starving," I responded.

"Want to order in? There's a Chinese place I know is open today."

I agreed. He put on his boxers and walked over to his kitchen area to find the menu. I took the opportunity to get out of bed and get dressed without being self conscious that he would watch my every unflattering bend.

"So what do you want to do tonight?" I asked Justin as I began collecting my clothing off the floor.

"I don't know. I think they're going to set off fireworks at the beach if the weather holds out at least a little."

"Sounds awesome," I responded with a smile. The beach wasn't a far drive and I figured it would be romantic to sit on the beach, with Justin's arm around me, and watch fireworks.

The food arrived and we sat at Justin's tiny table near his fridge. I don't know if you can consider it a dining room table, but it was cute.

"I could get used to this," Justin said as he set down the plates.

"Me too," I responded. It was true.

"But we're taking this slow, right?" he asked with a wink. I was really happy that Justin had taken me seriously when I told him I wanted to slow down, but also glad that he didn't turn into a super jerk about it. Some guys would act like such douche bags about it. His seemingly perfect behavior made me actually start to feel bad. I hadn't been fair to Justin. I liked him a lot, so why was I holding back?

"I'm happy with our pace," I began as I scooped some lo mein out of a container with chop sticks onto my plate. "Maybe we could even go a little faster, if you're interested." I realized I was kind of nervous as I involuntarily bit my lower lip. This was a confusing spot for me. Was I asking a guy out? I mean, I knew he liked me and a few weeks ago, he seemed completely game for a relationship, but what if he changed his mind? It did feel kind of risky.

Justin's eyebrows went up. "Really?" he asked. He seemed surprised. My stomach started doing somersaults as he took a sip of water and let the silence linger. Come on, dude. Say something.

"A little faster works for me," he finally said after what felt like years. "So, am I your boyfriend?" he asked.

I pressed my lips together and felt my cheeks flush. "If you want me to be your girlfriend, you could be my boyfriend."

"Nothing would make me happier right now," Justin said back as he reached his hand across the table to touch mine.

"But, like, still slow," I blurted out. I let out a nervous laugh as I tried to back track. "I just, you know, don't want to move our new relationship too fast. I want to be your girlfriend because I don't want to hook up with anybody else, but I don't know if I'm ready for like, the whole song and dance. Does that make sense?" I must have sounded like such a spaz at that very moment. What is wrong with me?

Justin understandably looked confused. "Um, yeah. So I guess you don't want to meet my parents tomorrow?" Justin asked. Oh my goodness, was this kid serious? Had he already somehow arranged this?

"I kind of have a standing brunch with them," Justin began. "You know, they remain on call so that whenever I get a girlfriend, they can meet her as soon as possible." He finally cracked a smile.

I crumpled up a napkin and threw it at him. "You totally had me!" I screeched. He caught the napkin and tossed it back at me.

"I get it, Caroline," he said, getting serious again. "Listen, I've been hurt in the past. I'm fine with taking things slow, but your commitment is really what is most important to me. I don't need anything beyond that."

Besides the obvious red flag about his past, which I didn't care to dive into, Justin was being pretty sweet and considerate. We decided not to make it "Facebook official," and really only tell our close friends. The idea of publicly announcing a new relationship to random acquaintances always kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I didn't need the girl who sat behind me in tenth grade English to start cyber stalking the new guy in my life. When Mike and I started dating, I didn't even make our relationship "Facebook official" for two months and that was only after he practically begged me to. Silly men.

Anyway, I promised Justin that he was the only guy in my life. It felt nice to have a boy worry about me straying. As if. I can hardly handle one guy.

That was it. Justin and I were boyfriend and girlfriend. I have a boyfriend. Am I ready for this?