On the Boardwalk

"Damn, it's 3:35," Jessica began. "We have to pay for parking. Do you want to wait?"

"No, it's fine," I responded as I waved a hand at her and fished five dollars out of my bag. Yesterday, after the catastrophic rain storm we had last week, Jessica and I both wanted to take a nice walk on the Jone's Beach boardwalk since it was sunny. I was glad to be catching up with Jessica, since I haven't seen her in a few weeks.

She pulled up to the booth and paid the attendant. They charged for parking until 4, but it seemed silly to pull over and wait so we could each save five dollars. We parked and began our leisurely walk. "So, how're things with Justin?" Jessica asked. "Still tense?"

I let out a soft sigh. I had texted Jessica after my weekend away in Atlantic City and gave her the low down on everything that happened. I had also texted her last week to get her opinion about some feelings I had about Justin. I couldn't shake the feeling that he was slightly avoiding me. We didn't make plans at all during the week and when the weekend came, we just grabbed a quick dinner and movie on Saturday night. I didn't broach the subject of Alan and Jackie at all during dinner. We filled our time talking about work and I talked a little about preparing for my Fall semester.

The car ride home from Atlantic City was relatively uneventful. Jackie was quiet, visibly suffering from her hangover, and the guys discussed football for a little. I kind of wanted to hang out with Justin before heading home, but since he didn't bring it up at all, I didn't either. I was pretty tired anyway and figured we'd see each other within a few days.

"Things aren't exactly tense," I replied. "I just can't shake the feeling that he's like, annoyed with me. Maybe it's all in my head."

"Maybe, but you need to be prepared for if it's not."

I shrugged. I knew Justin was in a tough spot but he didn't seem mad at me when I told him what I saw. He seemed frustrated, but only at the situation, not me. "We're getting dinner Wednesday night and I figured I'd ask about Alan and Jackie then. Enough time has passed."

"I honestly can't believe he hasn't texted you about it," Jessica said shaking her head. "I'm sorry, but if he didn't tell her that weekend, I would've Facebook messaged her."

"I don't feel like it's my place," I quickly replied. "Besides, what if she doesn't believe me? This gives Alan the opportunity to come clean, as if it was his idea."

"But it wasn't!" Jessica objected. "Don't you see that this is giving him an easy out?"

Jessica had expressed this view to me when I first told her about the weekend, but I told her this was a fitting compromise I made with myself. Yes, it would seem like Alan was volunteering this information, instead of pretty much being forced to tell her, but the bottom line was that Jackie would find out. "Jess, the thing is, I actually want them to work this out. I don't want them to break up, but -"

"But you're implanting a problem into their relationship," Jessica interrupted.

"No, I'm not," I snapped back at her. I understood she was just trying to make her point, but I was beginning to get annoyed. "I'm not the one who cheated. I didn't do this. Alan did. I thought you said I did the right thing?"

"You did, you did," she insisted with apologetic eyes. "I just didn't realize you were doing this with the hope and expectation that they'd stay together."

"I know it's going to be difficult but if the tables were turned, I'd want to know the truth. I mean, if it was a one time thing, I actually think I'd try to work through it if my boyfriend had the guts to confess."

Jessica quietly nodded. "You should've snagged a picture," she finally said.

"I know," I replied with a frustrated huff. "It took me five, maybe ten minutes to find Justin. How was I supposed to know they'd ditch those girls that fast?"

"Hind sight's twenty-twenty," Jessica said in a matter-of-fact tone. "I just hope this doesn't come back to bite you."

I waved a hand at her. "I doubt it. Think about it. Alan should be volunteering this information. If he says I saw him, Jackie will realize he was just caught. He has to be smarter than that."

"If you're sure," Jessica replied, in a condescending tone. I was beginning to think she wanted me to get roped into this whole situation.

"How's Josh?" I quickly asked, wanting to change the subject.

"Good," she instantly replied without looking at me. "Hey, you want to get ice cream?"

I hesitantly nodded. It seemed like she didn't want to talk about Josh. I had to know why. We both bought ice cream cones before continuing our walk on the boardwalk.

"So, just good?" I prodded. Jessica silently nodded as she licked her ice cream. I was not going to fall for her silent treatment.

"Jess, talk to me," I insisted.

She shot me an annoyed look. "I don't know, okay?"

"What don't you know?" I asked in a more gentle voice.

"I just feel like things aren't working, you know? He's been emotionally stable but we still fight. I honestly just don't think it's worth moving backwards."

"I know exactly what you mean," I replied, thinking of my breakup with Mike.

We began to walk back to her car as she continued to vent about Josh. "I think I have to break up with him," she concluded.

Is it terrible that I kind of hope she does? I want her to be happy. I also honestly just want her back in all our lives.