Meet Dr. Cramer

I sat outside my advisor's office for a few minutes while fighting the urge to bite my nails. After all, I had just gotten a manicure in anticipation of my weekend with Scott. This meeting with my advisor would be our last. I had been meeting with her almost every other week for about a year now, so I wondered what would be discussed in this final showdown.

I looked up as another student walked out of her office. My turn. I took a deep breathe before standing up and walking through the doorway

Let me paint you a picture of this woman. She's in her mid seventies and somehow, never learned how to properly dress or conduct herself in really any appropriate manner. I cannot tell you how many times I've had to quickly snap my neck in another direction to keep from being exposed to her crotch. Sometimes I would meet with her and some PhD students at the university about various research projects and she'd always bring a lunch, but not a clean lunch. She couldn't just grab a sandwich or protein bar. Some of her favorites were mashed peas and cheesy pastas that she would chew without closing her mouth. I mean, this woman is a hot mess, minus the hot.

While there was some gossip that the university was encouraging her to retire, she had never hinted at plans to stop teaching. She actually told me about this scheme she had planned to buy a Miami house and commute to school. You read that right; she wanted to commute to Long Island from Florida. She did the math and she could save a ton of cash by buying a place there instead of renting her apartment in Manhattan, even after adjusting for weekly back and forth flights.

But I digress. It took me a while to fully understand my advisor, but I eventually realized that she could be very useful to me. She had given me a lot of advice on ways to do my research but I later found out it was not good advice at all. However, that didn't take away from her connections. The woman had a rolodex that would make your head spin. She traveled for so many conferences and other academic events, plus she was friendly. So, at the end of the day, she was a good person to have in my corner.

"Caroline," Dr. Cramer began. "I'm so sad this is the last time we'll be meeting in this office."

I nodded, not knowing whether to smile or frown in response so I kind of landed in the middle and probably looked like a manic idiot. "It really went by fast, huh?" I finally responded.

She smiled at me. "Yes, the years just continue to zip faster and faster." I nodded, hoping to get past this unbearable small talk. "So tell me, Caroline. What are your plans?"

I shifted in my seat a little. "Um," I began as I diverted eye contact. How do you even answer that question? Especially when you kind of don't have your clear direction yet? "I want to continue on and get my PhD but I don't know how long that's going to take. I'm going to try to figure out what my next step should be before that."

Dr. Cramer nodded, clearly contemplating my response as she looked out her window. She was quiet for an almost uncomfortable amount of time, so I almost thought she had forgotten I was there.

"You should look at some community colleges," she finally responded. "Some of them will hire you with just your master's degree and you can put me as a reference." Ah, there it was. There was the reason I always put up with Dr. Cramer's weirdness.

"Okay, I'll look into that," I said, quickly opening my notepad and scribbling that idea down. It hadn't even occurred to me that I could do anything in academia until I went for my PhD. I had looked into a few entry level jobs but felt like I was either underqualified or overqualified for everything.

"Are you all prepared for your conferences?" She asked me next.

"Yes," I confidently began. "I have the poster printed for San Francisco and the presentation is ready for Washington."

"You are simply so organized," Dr. Cramer praised me and I have to admit, I felt myself slightly blushing. It didn't really mean anything coming from her, though, when her office had more misplaced books than a library after a hurricane.

Dr. Cramer had been the one to encourage me to apply to all these different conferences with my research. I later found out from a PhD student who I had become close with that she did this because every conference I went to was a conference that she could put on her website, saying that she contributed. Nevertheless, they were good networking opportunities. Plus, San Francisco? Washington, DC? I was basically creating mini vacations for myself centered around these events.

The meeting didn't go on for much longer before I was finally out of there. Sure, Dr. Cramer was cooky and definitely unprofessional at times, like when she asked me how many sexual partners I've had in order to better assess my perspective on interpersonal relationships, but at the end of the day, she really did care about seeing me succeed and I guess that's all I could ask for in an advisor.

I went home that night and searched a few websites for jobs. To my slight surprise, Dr. Cramer's advice was spot on. I was able to apply to five community colleges, even though one was in New Jersey and two were in Manhattan, that seemed like they'd hire me without a PhD or excessive teaching experience.

I feel like this is the next logical step for me, but sometimes I wonder if I should have chosen a different career path. I guess everyone feels like that sometimes, right?