But I didn't say any of that.

Things felt so much better with Scott the days following our dinner on the south shore. Without even discussing it, we fell into a pattern of seeing each other much more. I slept over his house that Friday night. As soon as I walked into his bedroom, I felt him kissing my neck behind me. His arms immediately followed suit, quickly massaging my neck before moving down my arms and around my waist.

"I want you," he whispered into my ear as I playfully giggled at his touch. I turned around and kissed him hard. After some strong emotions, I felt like the passion between us was heightened. He walked me backwards to the bed where I lifted my shirt over my head before laying on my back. He towered over me for a moment, exhaling his breathe before leaning in to kiss my neck. Before I knew it, he was slipping off my jeans and undoing his own zipper.

I shimmied back on the bed a few inches and he simultaneously positioned himself on top of me. I wanted to say so much to him in that moment. I wanted to tell him that he was the most important person in my life. I wanted to tell him that I never meant to keep a secret from him. I wanted to tell him that even in the short time that we've been together, I have already felt myself becoming a better person. He made me want to push myself and in the most dramatically ironic way, I wanted to succeed at this job, or whatever job I decide to take, because of him.

But I didn't say any of that. And he didn't say anything either.

I knew he wanted to tell me things, though. He told me with his eyes and with the way he had sex with me that night. Something was different, but in a good way. I felt extremely present as he held my hips and continuously thrusted inside me. I ran my hands over his chest and leaned my head back as I softly moaned his name. I like to think that it was more intimate because we had become closer that night. However, there was a small part of me, the guilty part of me, that felt like he was trying to show me how much he loved me in case I left.

The next morning, I awoke in Scott's arms. We didn't always cuddle anymore. It was getting hot again and we had grown comfortable in our relationship. However, I don't think we separated at all that night. I didn't move for a few minutes, because I didn't want to wake my adorable, sleeping boyfriend. Soon, I had to go to the bathroom, though. I tried to gracefully remove myself from his grasp, but I wasn't smooth enough. It's a good thing I never had a one night stand that I had to escape from.

"Babe, don't get up yet," he murmured. 

"I have to use the little girl's room," I replied as I kissed his forehead. He smiled with his eyes still closed.

Once I was done and reentered the room, Scott was sitting up on his phone. I crawled back into bed and innocently peaked down at his phone, where I saw the ESPN application opened. "Everything good in sport's land?" I asked.

"Huh? Oh, yeah," he quickly put his phone down and leaned in to kiss me. This made me feel even more guilty than I had the night before. Scott loves his sports and I try to give him the space he needs to keep up with all his teams. He was really making an effort to give me more attention and I felt like a bitch because he didn't have to change anything about the way he acted around me.

We did a lot of outdoorsy stuff that weekend and saw each other every night during the following week. The day of my interview, I even took an earlier train to the city so I could meet him for lunch near his building.

As we sat down with our food at a salad place almost right under his building, I began feeling extremely nervous and told Scott so.

"Don't be nervous," he said waving his hand at me. "Just be your awesome self. And don't be afraid to brag a little. If you just talk about all your accomplishments and hard work, he'll probably offer you the position on the spot."

"Thanks," I replied, rubbing Scott's arm. "I just can't wait 'til it's over. These things freak me out."

"I know," Scott said as he planted a kiss on the side of my head. "You'll get it, though. Plus, if you don't, you'll just get something even better."

I happened to look down and saw Scott's foot nervously tapping on the stool. My heart melted. He was putting on such a brave, encouraging act for me, but he was clearly nervous, too. I think we were both not only nervous for how I'd do on the interview, but also what would happen if I actually got the job. If I was offered the job, we'd have to do some serious relationship talking.

"Well, I don't know if I'll even take it if I get it," I continued before putting a huge fork full of my strawberry and spinach salad in my mouth.

"I'm sure you'll make the right decision," Scott replied. I was curious why he hadn't said more about what he wanted me to do, but realized that I was thankful that he was putting the choice in my hands.

When we were outside, I gave Scott a long kiss on the sidewalk. I didn't care if it was tacky. I needed some affection before heading to talk to Lillian's supervisor!

I walked to the coffee shop where we were meeting and took several deep breathes before walking through the door. "Here goes nothing," I thought.