First Day

I'm not going to lie. I cried on the plane. It began within minutes of the plane taking off. I have never felt more fortunate to have a window seat so I could curl up against the side and hide from the people surrounding me.

It wasn't just about Scott. I felt really good about our discussion before getting on the plane. We'd have to see how this was going to work out, but I was optimistic. We were both young and doing somewhat well. We are at a stage where we can both financially and socially afford to jump on a plane at a moment's notice and be by each other's side.

Again, I wasn't just crying because of him. Everything kind of hit me. I was going to miss my family. I was going to miss my friends. I was going to be completely alone in California. I get it, I chose this. But maybe I made the wrong choice. My anxiety was at an all time high.

But I knew there was so much to look forward to. I was about to start a new job and with that, I was sure there would be a lot of other new exciting things. New is just scary to me, even when it's good new.

Once I landed, I took a cab straight to my new apartment (!). I ended up going with the studio that I liked. I thought it'd be better to have my own space and not have to worry about possible roommate drama while starting out. While this seemed good in theory, it felt very lonely walking through the door and not being greeted by anyone. I've always lived at home, with four other people and two little dogs, so this was going to be an adjustment. I began crying as soon as the door shut behind me. At least nobody was there to see how ridiculous I was being.

I took a shower and set out my clothing for the next day. The apartment had barely any furniture, but the essential stuff was there. I put sheets on my bed before sitting with my legs crossed on top of it, notebook in hand.

My nerves were all over the place, but my Type A personality makes me deal with stress in a somewhat productive manner. I made a list of everything I had to do over the next couple days, such as go grocery shopping and see if I could get a few pieces of small furniture to spruce the place up.

After I felt like my list was pretty complete, I picked up my phone and texted Scott. I had called him from the cab, but I wanted to talk to him again.

"This feels so weird."

"It'll feel that way for a little while, but eventually it'll be home :)"

I smiled at that text. I stood up and walked over to my luggage. I wasn't able to bring all my stuff with me this trip, but I did make sure to bring a framed picture of me and Scott, along with a group shot of my friends and one of my immediate family.

I propped all three of them on my counter, which was basically the only table space I had at the moment.

I texted Scott that I loved him and was headed to bed. It was only about 9 o'clock but it felt like midnight to me because of the time difference.

"I love you, too. Call me after work tomorrow. I want to hear all about it!"

"Will do :)"

I let out a sigh. I didn't know how I was going to sleep when I was so nervous to start my new job! I fortunately fell asleep after laying there for about an hour.

Figuring out the public transportation systems in Santa Monica was on my list of things to do during my first week of work, but for convenience I took an Uber to Web Matcher on my first day. I was hoping not to have to get a car while living here, at least not right away, so I needed to learn the ins and outs of how to get around.

After spending way too much time while still in New York trying to figure out what to wear on my first day, with the input of my friends via group texting, I decided to go with black pants, a polka dot shirt, and a pair of tan pumps for my first day.

When I got to the building, I tried to remember to stand up straight and confident as I walked in. There was a man seated at a desk in the lobby, so I greeted him with a smile and, "hello," before walking to the elevator. I pressed 6 and patiently waited for the doors to open.

Web Matcher had the whole sixth floor of the building. Lillian told me to tell the receptionist who I was and she'd be able to help me find my space. At this point, I hadn't even seen the office, so I was excited.

When the doors opened, I saw all the walls were a shiny grayish color and the desk that the receptionist sat at perfectly matched. She had bleach blonde hair that was tied in a loose bun on the top of her head and she was wearing a pretty floral dress. I pegged her at about 19-years-old. From what I saw so far, the town was filled with a lot of movie star and model wannabes.

Her name was Peggy, though, and she was super sweet. She walked me past a bunch of cubicles until she reached a set of about six that seemed a little nicer and bigger than the ones we had already passed.

"This is where you'll be set up," she said as she motioned toward a corner one.

Then, a handsome man appeared at my side. "Hi," he said. "I'm Pete, your supervisor."