Just Work Out

I always thought I was one of those unlucky people.

I would throw my life into fate's theoretical hands and, time after time, be disappointed with what the universe provided me.

I'd be envious of people who would find themselves in situations where things "just worked out."

This was not to say I haven't had my moments over the past few years. After things ended with my first boyfriend, I didn't know if anyone would ever fully embrace me, quirks and all, the way he did. And if I did, what if I couldn’t reciprocate those feelings? Or what if things fell apart for one reason or another? How often do things "just work out" so perfect?

I couldn’t help but feel the same way when I lost my job. I packed up all my things two years ago and moved my life to California. Then, the job that I risked everything for let me go, without offering me a position at another office like I thought they would and while I wasn’t sure if I would even take it, not having the option made me feel defeated. Pete told me I was so valued at the company and that they knew all the good work I had done over the past two years, but if that was true, why wasn’t I being transferred?

I was also caught off guard when I went to visit home the week prior to finding out about WebMatch not offering me a transfer. As I said, I saw Moose for the first time in months and he looked good. He didn’t look very different in a physical sense, but he seemed more sure of himself and confident. Our friendship had blossomed via text messages and FaceTime, but I felt like it was all kind of leading up to this encounter.

After we first saw each other at the bar with all our friends, he texted me the next morning asking if I was around for lunch. I had plans with my family, but they were a little later in the day so I agreed. We went to a Thai restaurant that was both close to my house and Moose’s office. I was more nervous for this interaction than the bar. This was just us; nowhere to hide.

Moose arrived a little late, looking a bit out of sorts. “Hey, sorry,” he greeted me with a quick kiss on the cheek while still catching his breathe. “Work was crazy.”

“Yeah? Can’t relate,” I joked as we began following the waitress to our table.

“You’ll find something,” Moose replied in a serious tone. He clearly did not pick up on the fact that I was very much enjoying my time off. It helped that I had plenty of time to explore the next step.

As we sat down, I asked him what else was new. “Nothing really,” he replied as he took a sip of water. “Work is crazy, as usual, but I like my team so it makes things easier.”

“That’s awesome,” I replied with a nod. “And your family?”

Moose began chatting about his parents and brother as we simultaneously perused the menu. I knew exactly what I was going to get, since I had been periodically craving their lemongrass shrimp for months.

We ordered and then there was an odd moment of silence. “So,” he began, looking nervous. “Are you seeing anyone?”

So, the moment was here. Moose and I were going to talk about taking the next step. What would we be if I moved back? If I didn’t move back? Had we created the foundation for our friendship yet?

The truth was I could truly tell that Moose had made some huge improvements in himself. It’s not that there was anything ever wrong with his personality, but we clearly had some compatibility issues in the past. I couldn’t help but feel like those issues were fleeting. Maybe the timing finally worked for us. I could finally be one of those people who had things “just work out.”

What I didn’t expect was for my mind to go straight to Pete when Moose asked about my tentative relationship status. I knew things were just fun and uncomplicated with Pete, but I couldn’t bring myself to answer Moose’s question with a ‘no.’ I quickly wondered how Pete would answer this question, before immediately realizing that the answer was simple: he would say ‘no.’

I took a sip of water as I let this settle in. I was not seeing Pete, but I was still nervous where this conversation was going to lead.

“No, I’m not,” I replied. “Are you?” I don’t know what made me ask it. I assumed he wasn’t, but it’s in my polite nature to always shoot a question back at the individual asking me.

And it’s a good thing I did because I received an answer that I was not expecting.

 “Um,” Moose began. “I kind of am. It’s new, but I don’t know.” Moose wouldn’t make eye contact with me and I could see a glimmer of his uneasiness again.

I felt like if I opened my mouth to talk, my jaw would simply drop so far down that it would hit the table. So, after a couple seconds, I forced myself to speak without knowing what my mind would force my mouth to blurt out.

“That’s great,” I replied and as I said the words, I realized that I really meant it. It took a moment for my body to get over the shock of it all, but I quickly came to the conclusion that this new girl, and most likely not me, was responsible for Moose’s self-improvement and new confidence. I would need more reflection to know how I truly felt, but in the moment, I could see he was happy. And I was happy for my friend.

Well, it was time to go back to California and sort out my mess of a life there.