So Long (Summer): Part One

As I packed up my apartment, I was reminded about how fate never seemed to be on my side.

I moved to California and lost my job. I finally kissed my best friend and while we were rebuilding our friendship, he met someone else. I slept with my super hot boss, but because of the aforementioned job loss, who knew when I’d see him again.

So, in the beginning of the summer, I hopped on a plane with more luggage than I could comfortably carry, and made my way back to Long Island.

I felt pretty low for a little while. I always had a strong sense of self, but that feeling was always related to my work. Now, I was living off severance and really not doing much of anything.

But sometimes, the universe makes plans for you that you would never be able to predict.

…

It was the end of August and my ‘summer vacation’ was coming to an end. I had one last fun event before the summer was over; an old friend from college’s wedding.

I had gotten the invitation a few days after I got home from California. Most of my friends were invited and we were all really looking forward to it. Even though we weren’t that close with this particular friend anymore, it was one of the first weddings we were all attending.

Anna, Darlene, Jessica, and I walked into the cocktail party a couple hours after leaving the church. We were a little drunk, since we obviously hung out at a bar while waiting for the reception. I will admit that I was feeling pretty good in my sequin dress. Of course, the first person I saw was Moose.

“Hey, ladies,” Moose greeted us before giving us all a kiss on the cheek. “This is Theresa.”

I looked at the girl standing behind Moose. She was tall, but not nearly as tall as him, with curly black hair and very light skin. She had a really simple black dress on, but with her body, she didn’t need anything extravagant.

“It’s so nice to meet you all,” Theresa greeted us with a huge smile.

“You too,” I said as I shook her head. And you know what? I wasn’t faking it.

In the past, I always had at least a little bit of jealousy for Moose’s girlfriends. Even though I didn’t always want to be with him, feeling like I couldn’t have him wasn’t a fun feeling. I know this is selfish and I don't like that I felt this way, but I’m only human.

But this time was different. We all mingled and walked around cocktail hour, perusing the different stations that were set up on the outside patio of the dining hall.

At one point, when I was shoving an eggroll into my mouth, Moose came up next to me, holding a flute of champagne.

“So,” he began. “What do you think?”

I finished chewing before finally saying, “I like her! How are things going?”

Moose nodded. “They’re good,” he replied after a moment. He looked down at his feet. “You know,” he began again. “I never would’ve had the confidence to make things work with a girl like her if it weren’t for you.”

I smiled. “Don’t give me so much credit.”

“No, I’m serious,” he defensively replied. “ You really, um… Well, you inspired me.”

I gave Moose a skeptical look. “I mean it,” he asserted. “You wouldn’t put up with my bull shit. And I don’t know, that made me realize I was never going to get a quality girl if I didn’t work some shit out.”

I felt a rare, genuine warmth in my chest that’s hard to describe. “I’m really happy for you,” I replied before reaching in for a hug. “So things are getting serious, huh?” I asked as we pulled away.

“Yeah, I think so,” he replied as he turned to find her in the crowd. I could see she was standing and chatting with Jessica. “I figured this was a good place to bring her around for the first time.” Moose paused for a moment. “To be honest, I’ve been waiting to get your approval. It means a lot to me.”

“Really?” I asked. I still couldn’t get over this new Moose. He was so mature and straightforward. It was so refreshing.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it?”

I looked off into the crowd as I reflected for a moment. “Well, I definitely approve,” I responded. “And I’m glad things are going well.”

“Thanks,” he replied as he downed the rest of his champagne. “You want a drink?”

I smiled. “I’m okay. I’m going to head to the bathroom quick.”

As we separated, I thought about where Moose and I were less than a year ago. Awkward Moose. Insensitive Caroline. Zero Communication.

While logic would argue that it was finally the perfect time for Moose and I to be together, the universe clearly had other plans. The universe’s plan was for Moose to be his best self, and that best self belonged with Theresa. The weird thing is, I didn’t feel this sexual attraction for Moose. I felt so much more connected and intimate with him than I used to, because we were finally able to talk like adults, but the romance wasn’t there. I kind of feel like maybe it was just more about the chase. However, I definitely wanted the best for him. I could tell that our friendship was better than it had ever been. Now that I was back in New York, we hung out all the time. We got lunch, went to the beach, and even went shopping.

I was truly happy for him.

The reception was incredibly fun and I probably got a little too tipsy. Luckily, I was able to hop on the train and easily head back to my apartment in Manhattan.

That’s right. I wasn’t living with my parents. I was back on my own!