Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Ho Ho Ho

I bit my bottom lip and looked up at Scott. He had a subtle smirk on his face, like he already knew he did a good job. As I went to unwrap the smaller box, he stopped me and insisted I open up the slimmer box first. I happily complied and almost broke out into laughter as I unwrapped the movie Elf. I had told him that it was my favorite Christmas movie but that my sister had left my copy at an ex-friend's house.

"I can't wait to watch this!" I said, unable to contain my glee. In reality, I could've bought myself a copy for, what? Ten dollars on Amazon? But I was really impressed that Scott remembered it was my favorite holiday movie. I mentioned it weeks before. Isn't it the cutest thing in the world when guys actually remember stuff?

"We can watch it today," he said before reaching over and rubbing my knee. I gave him a quick kiss before opening the second box. Before I was even completely done unwrapping it, I could see the light blue box peeking through.

"Scott," I quietly said out of shock. I looked up at him and saw him smiling. As I lifted open the box, I saw a blue lady bug charm accompanied by a silver chain. I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from tearing up. A couple months ago, Scott pointed out a lady bug on my shirt. He let it crawl onto his finger before holding it up to let it fly away. "It's good luck," I told him. He shook his head at me before telling me there was no such thing as good luck.

"It's beautiful," I said, pulling out the blue lady bug charm by the chain and holding it up to my chest. "I can't believe how thoughtful these gifts were, Scott." I suddenly felt like crap for my pathetic gifts.

I decided to make it up to him the one way I knew I could at that moment. I put the necklace down before practically pouncing on him. I kissed him hard and pushed him back on his bed. I could feel him smiling as I continued to passionately kiss him. He shuffled himself back on the bed as I crawled along with him, making sure to maintain our lip lock.

I began untucking his shirt before running my hands up his stomach and over his chest. "You're feeling rather frisky today, aren't you?" Scott asked as he lightly placed his hands on my hips.

I giggled. "Don't call me 'frisky' ever again," I joked.

Scott reached under my sweater and lightly nibbled on my ear before whispering, "Frisky."

I pulled away and playfully swatted at him. He pulled my sweater over my head and began tugging at my leggings. After a little bit of awkward pulling near the ankles, I was left in my lace thong and bra. I finished taking off his shirt and then helped him take off his jeans.

"I really love my gift," I whispered in his ear as he ran his hands up and down the sides of my body.

"I really loved that you loved it," he responded as he began kissing my neck, slowly moving lower with every kiss.

"I'm so glad I met you," I said before gasping. As I straddled Scott, feeling his erection against my leg, he slipped my bra straps down and teased my nipples with his tongue. After a minute or so, he lifted his head up, brushed a piece of my hair away, and looked at me with intensity.

"I'm so incredibly glad I met you. You're everything I look for in a girl."

The next few hours contained no words. Scott flipped me over so I was on my back. He reached into his nightstand and pulled out a condom. Once it was on, he teased me a little before I began clawing at him. He smiled at me before finally entering me. He leaned down and pressed his forehead against mine as slowly moved in and out of me. After a few moments, he quickened his pace and I let out soft moans of pleasure. He held himself up with one arm as he took his other hand and began playing with me while he continued to drive into me. It took me no time at all before finishing. I continued to enjoy the experience for a while longer until he finished.

He settled next to me and I immediately placed my head on his chest. After about ten minutes of silent cuddling, Scott jumped up and put Elf into the dvd player.

Before I left Scott's that night, I finally asked him what he was doing for the holidays. "I actually go to Jersey to visit my grandparents. Both sets live there so we spend Christmas Eve with my mom's and then travel south to spend Christmas day with my dad's. I haven't mentioned that?"

I pouted and shook my head no. "I guess I won't really see you then."

Scott shrugged. "Unless you want to come to Jersey. I figured you'd be busy with your family."

I nodded. "Yeah, Christmas is pretty hectic for me, too."

"Yeah, and I mean if I was going to be here for Christmas, I would want you to come by for dessert or something, but I don't expect you to drive to Jersey. You'll meet my parents soon, I promise. They're dying to meet you anyway."

That brought a smile to my face. "Really?"

Scott nodded before giving me a kiss. "Of course."

I left Scott's house that night feeling completely confident about the state of our relationship. While we weren't spending the holidays together yet, he seemed to be showing me more affection with the passing of every day.

The holidays flew by, but I'm so excited for New Year's Eve! I feel like I've come really far this last year.

Friday, December 26, 2014

The Results are In

Once the bathroom door closed, I began biting my nails. What was Anna going to do if this test was positive? I tried to completely eliminate the thought from my mind. Worrying for the next three minutes wouldn't help the situation at all.

I tip toed over to the door. I didn't want to be too intrusive, but the anticipation was driving me insane. It had only been a few seconds, even though they felt like hours, when I heard Anna gasp on the other side of the door. Fuck. How were the results ready so quick? Also, a gasp didn't seem like a good response. As I pondered whether it sounded like a response to relief or to terrible news, the door swung open.

My heart jumped into my throat as I stared at Anna with wide eyes. It took a couple of seconds for my brain to register that she was smiling.

"I got my period!" She exclaimed before throwing her arms around my neck. As she squeezed me tighter than I thought possible, I could see the pregnancy test sitting on the counter, unopened. At least I'd be able to save it for another pregnancy scare, even though I hoped I never had to deal with a situation like this again.

I let out a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness," I said into her hair as she rocked me back and fourth, maintaining her sturdy grip on me.

She let go of the hug and looked at me with a huge smile. I would compare it to the adult version of being told you're going to Disneyland.

"Merry fucking Christmas," Anna said.

I smiled back at her, but now that the fire was out, it was time to discuss fire safety.

"Anna, can you please promise me I'm not going to have to do this again next month?"

Anna looked down. "I know," she responded. "It won't happen again."

I put my hands on her shoulders. "Anna, I'm not trying to be a judgmental bitch, but you really need to promise me this time." The thing is, this wasn't the first time Anna came into trouble with her rather risky behaviors. Last spring, she thought she had herpes for a hot second but it ended up to just be razor burn.

Anna looked up at me. "You're right. I know I've said it before, but I'm going to like, make it my new year's resolution. For the last week, I've been lying in bed almost in tears at the thought of having a child with Martin, or even worse, a Tinder match I've met once."

Anna and I were on Amazon a minute later searching condoms. I suggested a particular type of Trojans that are really thin and guys say it feels like they're not even wearing a condom. She ordered a box of those, in addition to a more fun pack.

"If my mom opens this package, I'll die," she said as she signed into her account.

"That's why they put something innocent as the return address name!" I contemplated ordering some for myself, but Scott seemed to always be prepared for the occasion. I also have a gynecologist appointment in January, so I figured I'd talk to him about going on birth control at that point.

It was nearing seven o'clock at this point so Anna and I went out for margaritas to unwind. Once we were on our third round, Anna texted Martin and told him to head over. Scott was still at work but Martin showed up to have a drink before driving us home.

I walked into my house before taking out my phone and sending a quick text to Anna. "Remember what we talked about!"

Anna responded back seconds later. "Haha! He's in the pharmacy right now. I made him stop :)"

Feeling accomplished for the day, I went to sleep.

The next week was a blur of holiday shopping, baking, and cleaning. I contemplated inviting Scott over for Christmas Eve or Christmas, but I was kind of scared since he hadn't brought it up at all. The Sunday before Christmas, he asked me if I wanted to get breakfast and spend the day hanging out with him. I happily accepted and then he told me he'd have my present. I got butterflies from a combination of nerves and excitement.

I had picked him up a shirt from a store I knew he liked and a box of coconut chocolates that I knew were his favorite. It took me a while to settle on a nice gift that didn't seem like too much since we had just started dating.

I threw on an oversized silver sweater, leggings, and new black booties that I had bought myself. I braided my hair to the side, but wasn't sure if I was thrilled with the way it looked. I didn't have time to undo it before Scott picked me up, though.

We chatted about our weeks over french toast and caramel coffee concoctions before heading back to his house. His parents were out, again, and I was starting to feel self conscious that he didn't want me to meet them. I mean, he hadn't mentioned his plans for the holidays and I only went to his house when they were out. What the hell?

We went into his room where I saw two boxes on the bed. The boxes looked the exact same size as the two boxes I had in my giant Longchamp bag.

I was anxious and wanted to have him open his gifts first, so I handed the wrapped boxes to him. "You first," I said with a smile.

Scott smiled at me and gave me a peck on the lips before sitting down and ripping through the wrapping. He seemed to like the shirt and tried it on right away. I was stoked that it fit. He broke into the chocolates right away.

His gift totally kicked my gift's ass, though.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Two Weeks

It's been over two weeks since my actual birthday and it has flown by, just like it always does. There's something about having a birthday 16 days before Christmas that makes the time disappear. I guess a lot of people feel that way around the holidays, though.

Anna needed supplies from the craft store Friday and since my semester was officially over at this point, I gladly tagged along. She picked me up at my house and we were on our way.

"I feel so relieved," I said to her after we drove through Starbucks to get lattes. "I don't know how I managed to get through this semester and get a boyfriend."

Anna mildly laughed. "Yeah, didn't you just break up with a guy before the semester started because you weren't going to have time for one?"

I shot her some serious side eye, which I'm not sure she saw since she was driving. "He broke up with me," I replied before actually cracking a smile.

"True, I forgot," she said with a smile. "Well, Scott's like a million times better, so looks like you won."

"It's not a competition," I said back, even though I did feel kind of victorious. It was true that Justin and I sort of broke up over my busy schedule, but that didn't mean I couldn't have a boyfriend. It feels like Scott and I are just in so much more of a mature relationship. We don't need to be in constant communication and I don't know, knowing someone is by my side actually motivates me to focus much more while I'm at school. I kind of want to make Scott proud.

I began telling Anna about Scott and I spending the night at the hotel after my birthday outing. I was so glad Scott and I finally had sex, and that it was awesome, so I felt like shouting it from rooftops. Telling Anna in the craft store was sufficient, though.

She silently looked for her supplies, nodding as I also told her about the night before when I went over Scott's house and we slept together for the second time. Both times were good, but I could tell it was getting better as we learned to move with each other.

Anna is usually all about the sex stories, so I was starting to get a little concerned at her eery quietness. "What's going on with you?" I finally asked.

"Nothing," she said without looking at me. After a few seconds of silence, she continued. "I just can't find the right mason jar."

I looked around at the nearby shelves. Anna literally became Goldilocks at that moment. I held up one and she said it was too small. I held up a slightly bigger one and she said it was too big. I searched some more and found one right in the middle. "I found it. The perfect one."

Anna stared at it for a few seconds before she let her head drop and her hands elevated to her face. She was crying.

As she quietly cried, I stood there frozen. I had no idea what I did or what to do. I'm surprised I didn't drop the mason jar, which would've made a real scene. I carefully placed the mason jar down before walking over to Anna and rubbing her shoulders.

"Anna, talk to me," I whispered. I hadn't seen Anna this emotional in a long time.

She looked up and wiped the tears from her eyes as she looked around to make sure nobody was staring at her. She stared down at her finger nails before speaking.

"I'm late."

I stared at her. "What?" I asked, completely oblivious.

She looked into my eyes. Her whole face was slightly puffy. "I'm late," she repeated. "Two weeks."

"Fuck," I quietly responded, realizing what she meant. "Well, that doesn't mean anything."

Anna let out a sigh. "I'm never late, Caroline."

I gulped before taking a deep breathe. "Martin?" I asked, not sure what else to say.

Anna shrugged. "Most likely, but it could be someone else."

I didn't even want to get into that at that moment. No matter who it was, Anna wasn't ready to have a kid with any of her casual hook ups. I reached forward and gave Anna a strong embrace. "Everything's going to be okay." Even though I was saying that, Anna and I both knew there was no certainty there.

I took Anna's keys from her and told her we were going to the pharmacy. Then, we'd drive to my house and get a better idea of what to do next. "I'm not going to leave your side, no matter where this leads."

"Thank you so much, Caroline," Anna said as tears filled her eyes again. "I know it's my fault. I'm such a fucking idiot."

I knew exactly what Anna meant. We've had multiple discussions about her lack of safe sex practices. She's not on birth control and if the guy doesn't bring out a condom, she doesn't think about it at all. Now wasn't the time to scold her for that, though. It was very possible that she was about to see the real consequences of her actions anyway.

Once we pulled up in front of the pharmacy, I hopped out without saying a word. I found the pregnancy tests right next to the tampons I always buy. I picked up a test that looked reliable and walked over to the back counter. I tried to compose myself so the cashier would think I was buying a pregnancy test because I was married and wanted to be pregnant.

I got back in the car and drove to my house without saying anything. I was thrilled when I parked the car and saw nobody else was home.

We walked into the house and reached the bathroom door. I passed her the test and smiled.

"I love you, Caroline," Anna said.

"I love you, too," I replied.

Friday, December 19, 2014

Birthday: Part Three

I felt like the middle aged woman behind the counter of the hotel was judging me hard as I stood awkwardly behind Scott while he handed over his license and credit card. "He's my boyfriend!" I wanted to blurt out as I felt her eyes follow us down the hallway.

We walked into the room and it was nothing to write home about, but it was sufficient considering it was so last minute. I walked over to the king size bed and turned to face Scott before sitting down. I bit my bottom lip and patiently waited for him to walk towards me.

"I'm just going to use the bathroom quick," he said instead. I pouted, which made him laugh. "I'll only be a minute. I promise."

As soon as the door was closed, I kicked off my shoes, made my way to the head of the bed and got under the covers. I pulled my shirt over my head, thanking my lucky stars that I wore my new, black lace bra which I picked up from the Victoria's Secret outlet a week before for twelve bucks. The fresh pillows felt so nice against my bare back and I let myself relax on them for a moment.

But, it turns out, I let myself relax for more than a moment. The next thing I remember is waking up, slightly disoriented, as I looked over at Scott next to me. He was sound asleep with his mouth hanging open a little. I was lying there in my bra and black jeans still on. I carefully moved to the edge of the bed and leaned down to where my clutch was laying. I pulled out my phone. It was six in the morning. Had I really fallen asleep that quickly before Scott came out of the bathroom? How were we so bad at this?

I didn't let it bother me, though. If I was that tired, maybe it was better that we didn't hook up. I figured I didn't want to be sleepy for our first time. I laid back in bed and tried to cuddle up next to Scott. Whether he was awake or not, he managed to put his arm around me and give me a quick kiss on the forehead. I fell back asleep while in his arms.

I'm not quiet sure who woke up first, but we both kind of simultaneously looked at each other around 9 in the morning. "Hi," I said to him in a sleepy voice while trying not to get too close to him. Morning breathe? Gross.

"Hey, beautiful," he replied with a subtle smile. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good," I began. "I'm sorry I fell asleep on you last night."

Scott smiled and shook his head. "Don't mention it. I was exhausted also."

There were a few seconds of silence where Scott and I just looked at each other. He looked so cute in the morning, which I feel like most guys do, while I probably looked like a gross monster. I didn't even want to imagine what my hair and make up were doing.

Before I could get too self conscious, Scott brushed a piece of hair away from my face and placed his hand on my neck. He rotated his thumb behind my ear for a few seconds while looking into my eyes. Then, he kissed me. I didn't even care about my breathe anymore, as he kissed me with such passion that I never wanted to stop kissing him.

I scooted closer to him until I was slightly underneath him, our legs tangled underneath the sheets. He was wearing his undershirt from the night before, but had ditched his shirt and, to my delight, pants. As we made out, I could feel his erection getting harder and harder.

He began kissing my neck before making his way down to my chest. He kissed around my bra before slowly guiding it out of the way and sucking on my breasts. I bit my lip and let out a soft moan. A few minutes later, we were making out again and I began undoing the zipper on my jeans. I can't imagine how unsexy I looked as I struggled to get the skinny jeans off, especially at that angle, but Scott continued to exhibit "enthusiasm." I rested my heads around his neck as he pulled at the lace of my thong.

He stopped kissing me for a moment and looked into my eyes, breathing heavy. "Are you sure your ready for this?" he asked. The light was shining through the curtain as I maintained eye contact with him.

"Yes," I replied with a smile. "I really want this."

Scott gave me a short kiss before pulling away to find his pants on the floor. He pulled a condom from one of the pockets and before ripping open the wrapper, he pulled his shirt and boxers off. While he did this, I completely removed my bra and underwear. We laid there completely naked together for the first time.

After he quickly put the condom on, he slowly slid inside of me. I let out a soft moan as he completely filled me. I ran my hands over his chest as he slowly went in and out of me while keeping a firm grip on my waist. It was so hot, but it also felt really special. He alternated between kissing my neck and maintaining eye contact with me as he brought me to the brink of orgasm. After only a few minutes, I could feel my legs tensing up. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes as I finished, letting out a soft moan as I did. He followed suit a minute or two later.

He fell next to me on the bed. We both laid there, catching our breathes, for a few seconds before he pulled me close to him. We cuddled for the rest of the morning before getting breakfast.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Birthday: Part Two

Moose is very tall, so I was surprised to see this girl was only a few inches shorter than him. She was wearing a little black dress and cute hot pink heels (even though without them she still had to be about 5'7").

She sat down with her friend near us before waving in our general direction. "Hi, I'm Beth!" The girls and I waved back and introduced ourselves as Moose sat down next to her. I was so surprised. How had I not heard about this? Were they dating or was this a new thing? Moose hadn't dated anybody since he broke up with his high school girlfriend after our first semester in college. Don't get me wrong, I was super happy for him, especially since things were going so well with Scott, but I was so curious.

Scott and Martin joined us on the train a few minutes later. Now I definitely didn't feel as awkward about being with Scott in front of Moose. Beth was kind of a birthday present for me!

Once we got to the city, we all jumped on the subway and took it a few stops to this bar downtown. Scott and Martin were ordering a lot of drinks, insisting that I keep up with them since it was my birthday. What kind of crap is that? Needless to say, I fell for it. Moose and I didn't really talk all night. I was engrossed with Scott and my female friends, while I noticed him sucking face with Beth towards the end of the night. It seemed like everything was falling together.

Anna began rounding everyone up around two after a few hours of dancing and drinking. If we were going to make the 2:53 train, or the drunk train as us Long Island Railroaders call it, we had to start making our way back now, especially since Darlene always needed ten to fifteen minutes to get greasy, fast food for the ride home.

As we walked out of the bar, I was pretty drunk but not drunk enough to not realize people were missing. "Where's Moose?" I slurred. Anna, who was annoyingly sober, told me that he was staying in the city with Beth, who had her own place in the city. Well, excuse me.

After we all ordered our food, we piled into the train where I inappropriately cuddled up next to Scott. He put his arm around me and rubbed my back as I nibbled on chicken nuggets. After a few stops of silence, Scott whispered in my ear.

"I really want to spend the night with you."

I giggled. "I'd really like that," I replied, hoping neither of us were that drunk.

Scott opened up an app that found last minute hotel deals. I didn't know if we'd be able to check in anywhere at this hour, but luckily Scott found one.

Once the train stopped, we hopped in a cab and made our way to the hotel.

Friday, December 12, 2014

Birthday: Part One

The rain taunted me as I straightened my hair Tuesday morning. If this was any indication for what 24 was going to be like, I'd like to just skip ahead to 25.

But hey, I had a great weekend so I didn't really feel like I was entitled to phenomenal weather on my actual birthday. I finished getting ready and headed off to work. I went to class straight after and finished the day with a quick dinner with my family, followed by cake and presents. My parents got me a new watch, which I'm in love with (but can't wear until I get two links taken out) and my siblings got me some clothes.

This past weekend, I got dinner with Scott on Friday. It was now our official one week anniversary (don't worry, I didn't mention that). He was taking me to this romantic, French restaurant right by my house. I told my mom he was picking me up at 7:30 and even though she insisted he come inside to meet her and my dad, I brushed it off and told her they'd probably meet him around the holidays. Maybe.

Things with Scott really didn't feel different, except now my irrational thoughts were minimized. I realized that Scott just wasn't super affectionate. He was soft spoken and while he reached over the table to hold my hands as we waited for our entrees, he wasn't that outspoken about his feelings. Regardless, I was super excited that we were now officially a couple.

Of course, being officially a couple comes with officially getting an awesome birthday gift. I wonder if Scott would've gotten me something if we didn't have the talk a week before. Anyway, after we split the most delicious chocolate cake for dessert, he slid a pink envelope across the table at me.

"Happy Birthday," he said with a smile, his hazel eyes seemed to be sparkling. I couldn't control my facial muscles as I felt myself smiling like an idiot. I told myself to act cool, but it wasn't working.

As I opened the envelope, there was a guinea pig on the front of the card with a birthday hat. It was cute but I couldn't help but feel a little insulted at the chunky animal. On the inside it read, "Don't worry about eating too much cake on your birthday!" See? So not mushy or romantic. However, the paper inside the card really caught my eye.

"Atlantic City?" I exclaimed as I looked at the printed reservation in front of me.

"Yeah, in January," he said putting his hand on mine. "I told you I wanted to go with you! If January doesn't work, we can always change it. I just have to know a few days ahead of time."

I leaned over the table and kissed him. I had been to Atlantic City a few times with my friends, but I never went alone with a boyfriend.

Scott had a family thing early the next morning, so after dinner he dropped me off and I watched some television before going to sleep. The week before at his house, we had just made out a little during the movie and while I was happy stopping there, I was now growing antsy. I've wanted to jump Scott's bones for a while now and I was wondering at this point if I should make the first move. Hasn't he ever heard of birthday sex?

The next night, I planned on meeting a bunch of my friends, along with Scott and some of his friends, in New York City. I had sent out a mass text earlier in the week. I was surprised at the first person to answer back. Moose.

"I'll be there! Long time no see!"

It was true. I hadn't seen Moose in a while. When he texted me, I actually realized that the last time I saw him was in October. I wondered if Moose even knew about Scott. Sometimes the word gets around in our group, but I hadn't heard much from the guys. I didn't want things to be weird between us.

Darlene, Anna, and Jessica met at my house on Saturday at around 7. The plan was to pregame for a bit before taking a train around 8.

"Are Scott and Martin coming?" Jessica asked.

"Yup!" I answered. "They'll meet us on the train, but they're getting on at a different spot." Anna nodded since I guess Martin had told her the same thing Scott told me.

I opened up a bottle of wine and began pouring four glasses when Anna interrupted me. "I'm not drinking. I'll drive us to the train station. I'm still not feeling one hundred percent."

While my initial instinct was to be annoyed, I couldn't blame Anna for being cautious after she was sick for a few days. By the time we piled into Anna's car, I was feeling a little more than buzzed. Darlene was probably the drunkest, though. I knew she shouldn't have drank that third glass of wine so fast.

Anna parked the car, we bought our tickets, and then ran up to the platform. I could spot Moose from about a hundred feet away. He was with two of our other guy friends and they were all holding brown paper bags.

"Hey!" I greeted them with a smile even though I was shivering down to my core. I really hate the cold.

"What's up, oldie?" Moose asked as he pulled me into a hug. I'm sure being the oldest of my friends is going to start getting old real soon.

When the train arrived, we found a group of seats and continued having a loud conversation. I was nervous for Scott and Martin to get on the train. I didn't want Moose to be caught off guard.

However, I was the one caught off guard. At the next stop, Moose got up and greeted a tall, brunette girl with a kiss.

Friday, December 5, 2014

Black Friday

It took every ounce of will power in me not to hit snooze a second time when the alarm on my iPhone went off at 6:45 in the morning on Black Friday morning. I am so not a morning person, but is anybody really? Scott and Martin were picking me up at 8 and I needed sufficient time to shower and get ready. Scott still hasn't seen me without makeup or my hair done and I intended to keep it that way.

Martin and Scott pulled up in front of my house at about a quarter after eight. Martin was driving and I hoped in the backseat of his Jeep. I could smell the coffee as soon as I opened the door and I was overcome with jealousy for a few seconds before Scott handed me a cup. "You take it black, right?" he asked. "I remember you mentioning it." When a man can remember how I take my coffee, he has my heart.

They wanted to go to a few department stores to get deals. I would've never guessed that these two guys would be dragging me to sales for clothing, but there I was. And yes, I was alone. Anna texted me that morning said she was still having stomach issues and she wouldn't be able to make it. I rolled my eyes when I received the text, but whatever. Maybe she was legitimately sick. At least I didn't have to worry about her flirting with Scott.

We walked through several stores in the mall and while nothing really caught my eye, I enjoyed looking around. People were so excited and even though you hear so many crazy stories about this particular shopping day, I didn't see anybody fighting over a sweater or anything.

After a few hours, we were on our way. They were happy with everything they got, between presents and clothes for themselves, but it was time for some grub. Scott suggested grabbing a burger at a new place that opened up a few miles from the mall. Martin insisted that we go without him, since he didn't want to be a third wheel, but we wouldn't have it.

"Dude, I know you're hungry," Scott laughed. It took a lot for me not to laugh when he said that, because I remember Anna telling me that Martin would always get out of bed to get a sandwich after they hooked up.

"Yeah, Martin," I finally added. "You can't bail now."

Martin reluctantly agreed to come with us and we were sitting down at a high top table fifteen minutes later. I ended up getting a Chinese chicken salad while they both got bacon cheeseburgers. It would have been nice to have some alone time with Scott, especially since they started talking about fantasy football and I was completely lost in the conversation, but it was funny anyway.

Martin's phone buzzed while his hands were covered in grease from his burger. I have this really bad habit of looking down at people's phones even when I know it's none of my business and this particular day was no different. I looked down and say a message from "Wendy AC." Oh, so there's a Wendy from Atlantic City. I bit my lip and looked away. I knew Martin and Anna were both on the same page about not wanting anything more than to hook up, but I couldn't help but think about Scott. Not to be a bitch, but I think Scott is much more attractive than Martin. If Martin got a phone number from one of those girls, I'm sure plenty of them were all over Scott. Ugh, jealousy is an ugly feeling.

Once we were done eating, Martin dropped me and Scott off at Scott's house. I was happy that Scott and I were going to finally get to spend some alone time together. His parents were both working and he assured me his sister was in New York City all day, so we decided to cuddle up on the couch to watch a movie.

I cuddled up next to Scott after he popped in the movie that we agreed on. I felt so comfortable and all of a sudden, I realized that I really liked the way this felt. If I could feel this physically comfortable, why did I have such a hard time talking to him about my expectations and feelings?

I repositioned myself to face him. "So, I couldn't help but notice Martin was texting a girl over lunch. Did he meet someone in Atlantic City?"

Scott sighed and it had me truly worried. "He told me Anna doesn't want anything serious," he said in a sort of defensive manner.

My eyes widened. "Oh, no," I began. "I wasn't trying to, I mean, she doesn't want anything serious. I wasn't asking because of her." I could feel myself turning bright red. "Just trying to start conversation," I finally finished with an innocent smile.

Scott smirked. "Yeah, sorry," he quietly replied. "I just feel weird telling you that when he's sleeping with your best friend."

"I know," I said back with a smile. "But don't worry, Anna really doesn't expect anything."

"I don't get that," he said tracing his finger in circles on my shoulder. "Whatever works for them, I guess. But yeah, he's talking to some girl we met down there. She was with this huge group of girls for a bachelorette party."

Okay, now we were getting somewhere. "Fun!" I replied, trying my hardest to sound carefree about the whole situation. "Where were they from?"

"Pennsylvania," Scott effortlessly replied, as if I had asked him his middle name.

"Cool," I replied turning my attention back to the movie. How was I supposed to get anything out of this dude without asking him flat out if he hooked up with a girl?

I came up with a new strategy. "So, how'd the rooms end up?"

With that, Scott paused the movie.


I gulped and took a deep breathe as I watched Scott rub his chin with his left hand. After a few seconds, that felt like hours, he spoke. "It's kind of a funny story," he said. Really? A funny story? Scott turned so that he was facing me and then, to my relief, the words began spilling out in waves.

"We were at the bar, standing near this VIP section, when a couple of girls stumbled into us on their way back from the bathroom. My friends jumped at the situation. They started talking to them and I don't know, I thought it was kind of pathetic because these girls were clearly wasted." Scott grabbed a water bottle from the coffee table in front of us and took a sip. "Anyway," he continued. "They ended up inviting us to their table with bottle service. We hung out there for a little while just drinking and having a good time." I thought back to the Snapchat story that Anna had showed me. The pictures were definitely taken at the table.

"Sounds like a good time," I sincerely replied even though I was still suffocating with curiosity. Scott smiled at me and I knew, at that moment, he was reading my mind.

"It was fun, but honestly that's not really my scene," he replied. "A couple of the guys and I left around two to gamble a little bit more. Some of the less drunk girls came with us. After a little bit of roulette, Martin found me. He was with this one girl in a tight cheetah print dress. He was taking her back to the room. I told him to text me when they were done. I didn't want to barge in on them, but I also wanted to get to sleep. We were sharing a room."

"Oh, so when'd you end up being able to go to sleep?" I asked.

Scott raised his eyebrows and huffed a little. "Martin kind of screwed me over," he replied. "We hung out in the casino for another hour or so before people started filing off to bed. This girl, Amanda, and I had kind of been talking the whole time. She was flirting with me and I mean, I was enjoying her company, but I wasn't interested." I tried to silently take a deep breathe. Hearing him talk about spending time with another girl made my stomach drop, but he wasn't saying anything bad.

Again, Scott was totally reading my mind. He put his hand on the bottom of my chin and forced me to make eye contact with him as he said this next part. "I missed you a lot." I smiled at him. "Martin never ended up texting me even though I sent him a bunch of messages. He told me the next day they fell asleep." Scott pushed a piece of hair behind my ear. "Amanda was sharing a room with Wendy, the girl Martin was with, so she insisted we wait in her room for a text. When we got to the room, there were two queen beds and two girls were already passed out in one. Amanda insisted I just take Wendy's spot in her bed."

My stomach dropped again. "Okay..." I replied with a slight squint. "What are you trying to tell me?" I finally asked, beginning to feel kind of frustrated.

Scott's eyebrows shot up. "Oh, nothing happened. I swear!" He took a deep breathe and looked off into space. He finally continued. "Amanda opened up to me before we went to sleep about how she has been seeing this guy for about a year, but he won't make things official. It really pisses her off, so now she sleeps around and lies to him about it. I mean, I don't know the guy but he's probably doing the same thing. It did make me think, though."

Scott paused and put his hand on mine. "I know that things are busy at work for me and they're only going to get busier after the holidays," he went on. "But I don't want to drag you along. I don't want to wait to see if things get less busy and I have more time for you."

I felt like the wind had just been knocked out of me. Was Scott ending things?

I couldn't remain quiet as this went on. "Do you want to stop seeing each other?" I blurted out.

"What?!" Scott exclaimed, looking me in the eyes with sheer confusion. "No! The exact opposite!" He looked away from me as that last line left his mouth and I saw him begin to turn red.

After a few seconds of recomposing himself, he turned to face me again and smiled. "I don't want to lose you. I wanted to talk to you and make sure you know how I feel about everything. I know I don't really open up much, but I've really enjoyed getting to know you.  You're so real and I like that you are goal-oriented. I feel like you have it all. I don't want you to feel the way Amanda feels. I don't care how busy I get with work. I want to make time for you and for, well, us." He took my hand again. "I realized that I might not have made my thoughts clear with you before, but I haven't been seeing anybody else. I'm sorry that it took me so long to talk to you about this, but would you want to be, well, exclusive?"

I was so overcome with different emotions that I let the question float in the air for a moment. Scott must have become worried, because before I could say anything, he began speaking again. "If you need more time to think about it, I -"

I cut him off with a kiss. I kissed him for several seconds before I couldn't hold the words back anymore. "Of course I'll be your girlfriend!"


Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Gobble, Gobble

Scott and I met outside a hibachi restaurant near his house on Tuesday night. He looked so hot in his button down light purple shirt, dress pants, and dress shoes. Every time I saw him, I felt like I was growing more and more physically attracted to him. When we first met, I thought he was just kind of average looking, but he was so well put together whenever we hung out, not to mention that I was probably growing attached.

Scott pulled me in for a hug and didn't say anything as he held on for longer than usual. I was enjoying it, but also a little curious. When I pulled away, I gave me an endearing look and sweetly asked, "what was that for?"

Scott shrugged and put his hands in his pockets. "I don't know. I missed you this weekend." He looked away from me as he finished that sentence, as if he was nervous to see my reaction.

I decided to take a bit of a leap. I leaned forward and put my arms around his neck, making him look at me. "I missed you, too," I replied. As if I wasn't confused enough about the status of our relationship.

Once we got into the restaurant, Scott gave his last name to the hostess. Of course he made a reservation like a responsible adult.

We sat at the end of one of the tables. There was a group of young girls at the other end of the table and they began giggling at the site of Scott. Is it sad that it made me feel super cool that those girls were probably jealous of my hot boyfriend. They were definitely still at the age where they had no idea how complicated relationships could be. People were practically boyfriend and girlfriend by just looking at each other in a certain way.

While I joke about this a lot, I really wasn't too concerned with Scott and I labeling anything. I enjoyed getting to know him and I didn't need anything more than that. I was still curious about the "girlfriend" comment he made to his sister, though.

The hibachi dinner was really fun, but it wasn't really conducive to having a conversation. While waiting for our drinks and the chef to come by, Scott told me a little bit about the guys who went to Atlantic City that I hadn't met and let me know that he won over a hundred dollars on roulette. "I basically came out even for the trip, which was awesome."

"I'm so unlucky," I replied rolling my eyes. "It's like the roulette table is designed to work against me."

Scott placed his hand on my knee and squeezed it tight. "I'm sure that's not true," he whispered.

I smiled at him, gave him a quick peck on the lips, and began to blush as I heard our table mates begin to giggle.

We didn't get to talk much more over dinner and I was kind of disappointed, but he had a lot of work to catch up on, between taking off the Friday before and the short work week, and I had multiple papers I had to start. Besides, we planned on going Black Friday shopping with Martin and Anna. So, we went our separate ways. As he kissed me goodbye near my car, something felt different. It was more romantic and I figured I must've really missed him. He was only away the one weekend. What's wrong with me?

Thanksgiving was nice and quiet. My mom cooked a turkey and we had a few members of my extended family over. I got a text from Scott around 4 that afternoon. "Happy Thanksgiving! I think I gained five pounds :("

"Ugh, me too," I replied.

"Well, I'm sure you still look amazing ;)" I hate to sound dramatic, but his affectionate text messages were actually making me a little curious. He seemed kind of different since he returned from Atlantic City. He seemed, I don't know, suave.

Darlene texted Jessica, Anna, and I around 7. "Holy shit... My mom bought way too much wine. Do you girls want to come over and help me kill a bottle or two?"

Jessica immediately wrote back that she'd love to. I decided it couldn't hurt to stop by, but told them I was going to leave early since Scott and I were shopping early the next day.

Anna didn't respond for about a half hour and I was just on my way out the door when I read it. "Hey! Sorry, I'm not feeling well :( I'm going to pass."

I hoped she just overate on turkey day and wasn't going to bail on me the next day. Scott and I both agreed that we weren't that into the Black Friday shopping, but Martin was. He was actually going at midnight on Thanksgiving to get some electronics, but also going to the mall with us around 10 for clothing.

I chatted with Darlene and Jessica for a little around Darlene's dining room table. Jessica began working out at this new gym and was apparently falling into a flirtatious groove with a personal trainer there. "He's so hot. I swear I just want to stare at him shirtless for hours," she gushed as she finished off her first glass of wine.

"I need to get in shape," Darlene said throwing her hands up in a dramatic fashion. "At the very least, maybe I can get a boyfriend out of it."

"Maybe I can set you up with one of Scott's friends," I said, hoping I didn't come off as too obsessed.

"You better," she replied. "Maybe he can bring someone to your birthday! By the way, what do you want to do?"

Wow, I had so much on my plate that I had completely forgotten that my birthday was in two weeks. I had to think of something really fun to do to celebrate. But what would I plan?