San Diego

I slept over Tom’s apartment on Friday night so we could leave for San Diego bright and early Saturday. I honestly dosed off on the drive there but I didn’t even feel that bad because Tom caught up on his sports, anyway, and he couldn’t expect me to stay awake during that.

I had never been to San Diego, but Tom had been several times since he grew up in California. We went to a few super touristy spots the first day, like Balboa Park and the Old Town Historic Park. We had such a great time exploring, tasting a bunch of different foods, and enjoying some drinks. It helped that we had great weather.

Saturday night, we were both exhausted from a day full of walking around, so we got back to our hotel room and practically collapsed on the bed. We cuddled up with some television for a bit before Tom asked, “room service?”

“Yes, absolutely,” I replied as I pulled myself closer to him. He smiled before leaning close and kissing me.

“Okay, let’s order,” he said as he reached over to grab the menu. “Then I have to take a shower, I feel disgusting.”

“Me too,” I replied as I let myself fall backwards on the bed. “We can get whatever. You know what I like.”

“That I do,” Tom replied with a wink. He turned his attention back to the menu. “Okay, so obviously fries.”

“Obviously,” I mimicked.

“We can split those and I’ll get the chicken wrap. Add whatever you’d like and call it in, babe. I’m going to hop in the shower.”

“Okay, maybe I’ll join you in there,” I replied with a smile.

“Oh, well then, I’ll take my time.” Tom gave me a quick kiss before making his way to the bathroom.

I decided on a sandwich and positioned myself so that I was sitting on the bed near the nightstand with the phone on it with my legs hanging off. I heard the woman on the other line answer, “room service,” and began speaking to her when I noticed a buzzing near my feet.

“Uh, yes, hi, this is room…” I began as I looked down to see it was Tom’s phone buzzing underneath me. I ignored it and proceeded to give the woman our order after some apologizing for my fumbling speech.

Once I hung up, I leaned down to pick up the phone. I don’t know exactly why I decided to pick it up. I instinctually just wanted to put it on the nightstand so I wouldn’t step on it. Things were going well with Tom, so I had no reason to spy on him in any way.

However, of course, I innocently looked at the screen as I went to put it down. There was only one notification across the screen and it was a picture message from a “Tiffany.”

My heart fluttered a bit at another girl texting my guy. But then, I quickly realized, Tom and I never discussed exclusivity. I mean, after all, I had made out with another guy while we were seeing each other. But that was before I felt we were really serious. I thought an overnight trip meant something, though. What if it didn’t? What if Tom never planned on getting serious with me?

I physically shook my head and tried to relax. Maybe things with Tom could be different. Maybe I could handle these sorts of insecurities and doubts like an adult. Besides, Tiffany could be a long time friend for all I know. She could be anyone. I don’t know why I always jumped to the worst. But, I mean, it was a picture message.

I thought about what I could say to Tom to find out more information, but I couldn’t land on anything that didn’t look like I was a snoop. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, so I decided to put it out of my head but made a mental note to have the infamous ‘talk’ that I always hated having.

Tom finished up his shower before I hopped in and when I came out, the room service had arrived. We both enjoyed our food before passing out with the television still on.

The next morning, we slept in just a little bit before heading to the beach. We spent a few hours there before heading back home. A weekend away was definitely what I needed to deal with an inevitably stressful week ahead.

I think I’ve matured a lot and at 26, I feel like I have a much better handle on my emotions and impulsivity than I did at 21. I was actually surprised that I was able to put the whole text message thing out of my mind for so long. It didn’t ruin our Sunday together and we even had really hot morning sex before checking out of the hotel.

But Monday morning was a whole different story. I was both blessed and cursed with very little work to do when I got in. So, I sipped my coffee and rocked back and forth in my chair for a bit. I wanted to relax before the demands of the day began pouring in, but it also gave me too much time to think.

So, the first thing I did was go on Tom’s Facebook page. I thought this would clear my mind for sure, but luck was not on my side. I searched his friends and he did not have a single friend named Tiffany.

I already felt like a crazy person at this point, but the momentum was already going. So, I checked his Instagram, too. I couldn’t find anybody that he followed named Tiffany.

“You’re being crazy,” I told myself, but that didn’t stop me from taking the next step.

I went onto the dating app that we met through and checked his profile. It says when the user was last active.

He was active that Monday morning.