The Airport

As Scott and I drove to the airport, we began by talking about the last few days. You would think by listening to us that we didn't have this lingering decision hanging over our heads. Since I wasn't bringing it up, I couldn't expect him to. Maybe we didn't need to talk about it. Maybe we were both content with staying together and seeing how things went once I was out there. Was it actually possible for us to avoid this conversation? I began to imagine him giving me a romantic send off as he told me he loved me and even thousands of miles wouldn't change that.

Well, I was wrong.

"So," he began as I caught his grip tightening on the steering wheel. "Where's your head at?"

I didn't fully understand the question. "What do you mean?"

Scott sighed. "Am I driving you all the way here just to be dumped at the terminal? Or are you going to wait until you've landed so you can just text me the news?"

"What?" I exclaimed turning my entire torso so I was facing him in the car. "You think that's what I'm going to do?"

I could see Scott's jaw clenching but he waited a moment before speaking. I didn't know if he was trying to keep himself from yelling at me or crying. "What am I supposed to think?" He asked as he face softened. "You get this job, accept it, and pack your bags. All of this went on without a word to me about our relationship."

I felt slightly deflated. "I guess I was just waiting for the right moment. I mean, you didn't bring it up either."

"I'm not the one moving," he loudly replied as soon as I finished saying my statement. "Plus, you told me you didn't want to decide anything too early! Why would I bring it up?"

I hadn't thought of this. Of course it was my job to bring it up. "You're right," I replied as I felt myself getting smaller in the passenger seat. "I honestly didn't think of it that way. And, I guess I was putting it off." I felt my eyes filling with tears but I tried to wipe them away before Scott noticed.

I heard him slightly laugh. What was so funny? I looked over at him and he quickly met my eyes before returning his view to the road. "Don't cry," he said. "Just talk to me."

I tried to stop the tears from coming but they wouldn't so I decided to talk through them. "I love you. You know I love you. I hate that this job is taking me away from you. As excited as I've been these past few weeks, it makes me sick to my stomach to think about losing you." I stopped talking because I was getting choked up.

I heard Scott sigh. "Don't get upset, C." I put my face in my hands and just let the tears come out. I began to let everything go that I had been bottling up since I found out the job was in California.

Scott was silent for a minute or two. Then, I felt the car come to a stop.

I looked up. We couldn't possibly be at the airport yet.

Scott had pulled over into a pitstop area. There was a gas station along with a few shops.

"Do you want a coffee?" He asked as if nothing was wrong. "Or a treat?" He raised his eyebrows up and down as he asked the second question. I couldn't help but laugh. Whenever we go to get coffee, I either get a hot black coffee or I go completely over the top and get an iced latte with whipped cream and chocolate syrup.

"A treat," I said, wiping my eyes. "A small one, though."

Scott smiled and nodded. "Just relax, okay?" He kissed my forehead and grabbed his wallet before walking into the building.

I took a few deep breathes and composed myself. At least I had my breakdown in the privacy of Scott's car rather than in the airport with hundreds of onlookers.

Scott returned and I immediately began drinking my 'treat.' He took a sip of his iced coffee before setting it into the cup holder.

"You know, I actually researched some jobs out there," Scott quickly began. "But I'm up for this promotion and... I don't know." Scott let out a heavy sigh again. "I can't just follow you, you know? Would you even want me to?"

"Of course I would!" I exclaimed. "Scott, I would love it if you were with me."

Scott coyly smiled. "Well, that's good to hear."

I was feeling a lot better at this point. "Listen," I said as I cleared my throat. "People do this all the time. My friend's cousin just spent six months barely speaking to her husband because he was deployed."

"Yeah, but this is different. You decided this."

I was stunned by Scott's words. They seemed almost aggressive. "What?" I asked.

"I'm just saying," he said, his tone softening. "You're not getting deployed to war. You're taking a job. You're..." He paused for a moment before finishing his sentence. "You're going to have a whole new life out there."

I felt myself choking up again. "Scott," I began as I reached my hand over and placed it on his. "Please believe me when I say this. I am not moving to California to get a new life. I am just trying to do what's best for my future." I took a deep breathe. "You make me want to succeed. You make me want to, well, be a better person."

I looked into Scott's eyes. We didn't say anything for a moment and then he kissed me. I could barely even handle how much love I felt for him at that moment.

"You're going to miss your flight," he suddenly said as he put the car into drive.